MY HEART ORIENTATION

The orientation of my heart and mind does matter

There are gods and there is God

Idols are no longer the same as yesterday’s brand

They are not carved from woods or stones anymore

I know what my idol has been

But today, I won’t say “my god” anymore to the products of my own mind

If I have wandered, my return route will remain same

But it is not just enough to turn around

I must not switch to the reverse gear after turning

Better still I can switch over to the reverse and forget about the turning

I should just head towards the right direction

Worshipping god is not all about saying formal prayers

Standing here, bowing there, nor genuflecting there

Neither is it about condemning those that goes against these practices

I notice that if I lob the ‘pagan’ grenade at genuine seekers

And dismiss their strides towards integrity as worthless

I will miss the path of dialogue

Sabotaging my own effort

I fail in my mission

Not because I wasn’t observant or thorough

But because I didn’t understand the rule of perspective

I came face-to-face with my own limitations

But the seed of my greatness is planted in my own adversity

My seeds were fertilized with failure

And watered with the blood, sweat and tears of personal struggle

But when I started understanding people

I started communicate feelings instead of word

I’m just making sure I’m staying focused

I’m keeping close watch over myself

Not forgetting anything of what I have seen

And not letting my heart wander off

I’m trying not to go overboard and lose control

When we look to life from a battered heart

It is hard to forget what we see

This is a war, there is no neutral ground

If you are not on my side, you are the enemy

If you are not helping, you are certainly making things worst

WHY CAN’T YOU BE LIKE…AFRICAN MOTHERS TAKE NOTE

 

I have heard many words in my life

Most of them have whizzed down my ear canal

Never slowing down till it exit through the other side

But words of comparison stuck

Comparison can be devastating no matter how well intended it may be

Instead of complementing, comparison often wounds and awards a degree of inadequacy

Comparing a child to another is an approach of motivation designed for disaster

Motivation comes from within; it is an inspiration from the least expected direction

The full measure of a person can only be found within his or her own heart

I plead in my own heart for the opportunity to be judged by my own merits

Something is inherently wrong with being compared to someone else

I think anyone would resent it; I, for one do

It is quit a burden to be expected to live up to someone else’s accomplishment

Or maybe to live down someone else’s reputation

But that is not life; I want to stand on my feet and give a full account of myself

It hurt to remember being compared to people who are thought to be better

Maybe I was to be intimidated

Maybe I was to be inspired to a higher level

But whatever must have been the motives

I remember feeling embarrassed and hurt

Did that help me?

Do I hate them for that?

To answer the first questions is to resolves the second

Certainly there are things I can do better than those people

No matter what a parent’s motives may be, the child gets a different message

As a child, with every comparison, I only understood I wasn’t liked the way I am

Not especially when I get to hear litanies of “does he have two heads?”

Most parents don’t understand how children’s emotions work

Sometimes in trying to put the child on, they switch him off perpetually

The appreciation of a child has nothing to do with how you think of another child

And certainly the appreciation of a quality in a particular child

Has nothing to do with the lack of that quality in another child

But would parents ever come in terms with this? That, I don’t know

This is particularly not fair to children

Because all a child knows is how much he/she likes the parents

Often you won’t see them making comparisons

Mum! Dad! Why then put so much pressure on your child

The challenge to grow up is so confusing

Grow up to be like what?

Every single child who can identify with everything written above, have this challenge

GONE BAD

I feel guilty because I am not heartbroken

How could I have gone this bad without feeling anything

I’m shaken not only by scandal but also by my sense of immorality

I refused to listen, to moral advises

It was like talking directly into a fan operating at full speed

And like whispering into a paper bag without getting any echo in return

I am just like a fine mind trained in a dungeon

But I disobey or disagree with my whole mind

Than obey or agree with grudges in my heart

But it is never too late

No sin of mine is greater than the mercy of God

I think the colour purple is too righteous

LOVE, A SACRAMENT

To love is sacramental

And this sacrament is worth more than money

It last longer than a cup of coffee

The father is love himself

But He doesn’t need perfection

He can work through our brokenness

We should only be careful about what we think

Because what we think moves into our heart and become our desire

Feelings are of the heart, we shouldn’t try to control it with the head

But God who is light, is always there for us

Though we can experience Him only in his shadows

But we are just shy in a painful way

We can only seek God when we have already found him

LONELY CHILD

I was left on my own

My nights were lonely

And my days were forlorn

I think nobody really cares

I am a lonely child

Sweetness has turn sour

The sun has grown dark

Friends have forsaken

I think nobody really cares

I am a lonely child

Thunder has struck

The heavens are raining

I am wet and cold

I think nobody really cares

I am a lonely child

I didn’t meet dad

Mum is gone too

I suffer on my own

I think nobody really cares

I am a lonely child

I am broken and wounded

My wounds are sour and infected

I die slowly every day

I think nobody really cares

I am a lonely child