I WONDER WHAT YOU ARE MADE OF

I wonder what you are made of

I’m afraid; I fear if I don’t write this

Then I should never write again

I’m afraid; I fear if I do write this

It would not be as good as it should be

But I do like to try, though I am not a supernova in the pen galaxy

You are just too good

Like I just bumped into you

The moment I needed your kind

Lately I haven’t been so close to my pen as I used to be

But I can’t just help my urge to pick the pen once more

If I can make one person smile

Then I won’t stop writing

There were times my pen inspired me to write

But now I’m inspiring my pen to write

Hello miss (Mrs.), I’m sorry I have just one problem

It is just a problem of how do I?

How do I write about this ephemeral glimpse of goodness?

That passes like a fire fly cheering me up from whenever to whenever

I’ve never been so jealous but I desire to have these cheers all to myself

How do I put into words what I know of this essence?

On my days of fearful loneliness and exhausted immobility

Moments when I thought it would be fun to just cry

You revived my sleeping devotion

And kept my heart beating and pumping

Then, it hurt so much

Now it feels just too good and right

In my deepest moment of achy loneness and sadness

You came by, but always like a fleeting ninja

Don’t mind my greed to amass

I always feel like having more when I’m true to myself

But I have shown it in least cases

Well, I don’t think I’m overly jealous

I’m just being a normal teen

Now I feel a different kind of pain

I think a cupid has shot me more than ten times in a moment

Now let forget about me and my pen

On this usual day I write you this piece

It is not figurative, neither is it imaginative

I’m just holding this pen and its writing my mind

Pardon its choice of expression if they happen to be ‘in appropriate’

It is not a very literate pen

But I still do like to say

In the words of my own

You have become a precious friend

I hope not to see myself placed outside

Outside the margins of social acceptance

But I guess is not a problem

My heart says you are socially flawless

It has always been so right

You marked a stamp on me

But I’m not stained

It took me a while to see you

Maybe at first I wasn’t look

But I assure you, most times when we look through a beautiful heart

We pretend not to see anything

Or rather we don’t talk about the things we saw

All I want is a hut where I can be myself

But it looks like I found a mansion

You are just so many in one

A friend, a care taker, a mother…

I gladly submit to your friendly care

Most of the time I take recourse to imaginative writing

Just because I may sound crazy if I speak out of my true mind

I’m just glad to meet you

I want to see through your own eyes

And beat through your own heart

Because you heard my silent screams

Lived in my thoughts

And breathe on my agony

Overly I feel just too good

To wake up with a good morning and dose off on a good night

Don’t mind the length of the piece

That’s how always it is when I speak from my private mind

Each line I’ve written so far makes me so excited

Don’t worry, I’m still normal and would always be normal

Don’t wonder why it took me no long to write this much

It is because I don’t have to think of what to write

They are already on my head

But I wonder why I have written so long

Without putting down the simplest words in my heart

Maybe I’m not sure or maybe I’m just scared

But it would be not fair, if I say not this

Many friends have crossed my path

And I thanks God for them

But I got a special extra blessing

When your friendship answered my call

Permit me to drop this pen

Anything I say from here on may be a risk

Maybe someday I will pick this very pen and continue from here

Because my instinct says there is much more to you than I know

Please walk me through the sunshine

Being so honest, I want to let you know

Right form my very heart, how much I’m thankful

For the wonderful friend you are

So I just wanted to say, in the most sincere way

Thank you for being my friend, today and everyday

FURIOUS

   PUSH ME NOT TO THE WALL

I endured you like the syringe needle

Please don’t press on me harder

It is now beating on me so hard and fast

I can hear the sound of its throbbing

Don’t push me further than I can go

My head is at the verge of blowing

And it will surely give out smoke if it does

I can bear you no more

I’m sorry if I had given up my patience

I’m just being a normal teen

I have giving in to the offer of revenge

I can’t afford to drown in this ocean of maltreatment

Of pain and misery, of torture and agony

I’m drunk with the wine of retaliation

And have waken the spirit of vengeance

My tolerance have reduced to degree zero

I feel so cold now

Try me one more time

And I will make it memorable for you

Be careful not to wake a sleeping beast

CONVINCED

Though I may float for sometimes

It ultimately leaves me more grounded

But I have the innocence

To move lightly with ignorance

And strongly with conviction

Innocence is so crucial

It freed me to learn

But just as importantly

It freed me to love

Though I may have to atone for sins I didn’t know I was committing

Still I come to feel a power I have never known

I have survived adversity with my honour intact

I faced my dark side and survived

But something more striking occurred

Though far from flawless, I’ve developed a stability that enhances my competence

I live my life as an example of decency

This didn’t happen by accident

I’m not really called to a job

It is a distraction that has little benefit

I am rather called to a life

A large portion of this life may involve a career

But there is more to it than just that

I am called to learn from the life experiences

Then I can use what I learnt in the service of decency

This is not for beginners, it just happen to be the first step

WANDERING SOUL

I was haunted like a wild beast

But I dared to reject my fate with my faith

And today I have honours through God’s grace

I thought I saw only the dark side of life

Life is hard but god is good

So I don’t have to cry

Because I became a genius

Born out of anguish

Wake I or sleep I

It is all Your responsibility

With You I can walk without watching where I’m going

I can speak without knowing what to say

But in selfishness I lost You all

I want a second grace

Please give me one more chance

There is no good reason why I shouldn’t trust You

You made me smile even when there is no fun

I failed because my finite nature didn’t understand your ways

Now I’m wrestling with my fears

I am haunted like a wild animal

I am in pain, but I will survive if you stand by me

Please look on me through the broken sky

This weight upon my shoulder is much

I need your helping hand

I’m scared,

I have gone far from you

I seem to belong nowhere

Please lead me back home

I know I’m lost

But I don’t believe it

I know you will always come by

Please don’t forsake me this one time