Yet they are part of our lives
At the moment when what I dreaded
most happened
I had this thought about God
Whom I was sure would never let me
down.
I really thought God was ignoring
my grief
“God is close to the broken
hearted” (ps. 34:18)
Of what use is it if He is responsible
for the brokenness?
Surely, I do know: brokenness is
not the end game of life
But my physical and emotional
turmoil are stealing my confidence in God
I have lost my perspective in
tragedy
Anguish changes our priorities when
the worst happens
This is really extinguishing the
light of my faith
How long will I lift my eyes to
this mountain?
Where is my help? (ps. 121:1)
“God is no more on your side”
I heard this and my breath became
more unsteady
I was hoping my little piety would
save me
But it was not enough to
God is a physician with great
professionalism
Why then is he not attending to me?
Forget what my poems say
Because every single line I write
removes a tear from my eyes
The gods have broken my heart
Until now, I’ve never been hurt
beyond hope
Why should I cry to the gods?
When as usual they will not show up
I’m already losing this game
Why don’t they step in and play on
my side?
My faith has always kept me on a
repentant knee
Sometimes when I bend my knees
Through many sleepless nights
I feel like the gods have betrayed
my trust
I have given up hope
Yet I always try one more time
The problem is: my trials seem to
have fallen into an infinite regress
But I’m sure; God is not surprised
or threatened by my doubts and fears
I want to pray, but the words in my
heart scare me
God is my father
I know this more than I’m sure of
my own name
But I do wonder
What kind of father withholds his
care at the precise moment his son need it the most?
I go through martyrdom like I’m in
a slow fire
When God breaks your heart
You will feel damaged beyond
recovery
And will always remember the words
of proverb 29:1
Then you will wonder if you have
ever been so deaf to counsels
No. not even in your greatest
annoyance and provocation
This is a test
Don’t forget that during class test
The teacher is always quiet
Waiting for the time to make
corrections
Likewise, don’t think God has
abandoned you
Job was really too patient and
never felt heartbroken
Why then should I?
When tragedy strikes repeatedly
It is more than we can bear
But out of the most devastating
life experience
The Lord crafts within us a new,
stronger, more vibrant and enduring faith
I wonder why Jesus allowed Lazarus
to die
When He can actually safe him from
dying at the first instance
I can recall He saved an officials
son in Capernaum without even moving a step
He only spoke the words
Why is He now withholding those
words in my own case?
God really broke my heart
But the same time He has given it a
better shape
We must not allow discouragement to
take active root in our hearts
I chose hope in the mist of this
faith-shattering situation
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