OPENING THE DOORS OF EMOTIONAL RETROSPECTION

 OPENING THE DOORS OF EMOTIONAL RETROSPECTION

Heaven has its purpose in man

I write to you now because I feel like a poet who fancies the beauty of love 

Whose impression he composes in verse

While being ruled by a divine power

My thoughts are as distant as my imaginations

Night has fallen, silence prevails, and life slumbers

But I open my sleepless eyes

And keep vigil with my pen till dawn

From behind the darkness of the night, I make wishes for my love

Because love conquers in the struggle of joy against sorrow

I am consoled by a love that renders my pains a joy and my sorrows a happiness

If heaven willed it, only heaven can alter it

Heaven has its purpose in man

God have united beauty and love in me

And joined the kind brightness of your eyes with the darkness of my recessive self

I have met love on its very face, and have embraced its spirit

We are both in the hands of a mysterious and merciful power, let it do its will

Can you sense the crush in my thoughts?

The bond and energy that keeps me writing tonight is very strong

As long as there is ink, I will keep writing

If this ink finishes, I will get a new one

What I do today in my solitude will be echoed to the people by tomorrow

What I say now with one heart will be repeated tomorrow by many hearts

I want to say a word and I shall say it now

I want to live in the glory of love and in the light of beauty

I am a rose; my heart opens at dawn

And the virgin kisses me and places me upon her breast

I am the gentle smile upon the lips of beauty

But you are the reality of this sweet dream

You are a sacred shrine in the heart of a child, adored by a merciful mother

So I will place my head on your bosom as a child in the arms of a loving mother

What I see in your heart is yellow like the candle light and red as twilight

It is obviously colourful and beautiful

I look upon sleeping nature

And with a deep reflection, discovered the reality of a vast and infinite thing

Something no power can demand, influence or acquire nor can riches purchase

It can’t be effaced by the tears of time or deadened by sorrow

It is something that gathers strength with patience

This something is LOVE

Love is not a spirit in the body of words

But these expressions are myriads of thoughts in the unspoken language of my heart

I speak to you wishing that my feelings might flow with my words

You are a word uttered and repeated by the voice of my heart

You are a star fallen from the blue tent upon a green carpet

And brighter do you shine

I came out throbbing with a longing to be loved

There were silent words upon my quivering lips

Speaking when the tongue of life is silent

I am a stranger passing by the gates of your garden but you called me in

I feel uneasy because I am always a departing guest

But I want to write one more time 

And tell you some things my heart would love to say and how good you are

This may not be the most beautiful words on the lips of mankind

But what I feel for you grow day by day,

It has become a kind of mute worship

You are more precious than the crown of a queen 

And more sublime than the throne of angels

I am most grateful to that cupid who emptied its quiver in my chest

Wetness does not bother the drowned

I’m head over heels

The pendulum of my heart has swung from fantasy to reality

I want to love you as a poet love his most beautiful thoughts

I want to recall you as a traveler recall the pool that quenches his thirst

I want to remember you as a mother remember the child on her bosom

I live under the shadows of your love the life of a flower under the rays of the sun

I sing your name as the village sings the echoes of a church bell

I remember you as a stranger remember his beloved country

All these words come from the depths of my heart like flames of fire

You may not comprehend this piece, but I guess you grasp the shadowy meanings 

Those which are not clothed in words and don’t reside on paper

Now I know there is something higher than the heavens

Deeper than the oceans and stranger than life, death and time

Now I know what I didn’t before

It is wrong to think that love comes from long friendship and persevering courtship

Yesterday you were like a sister to me

Now I feel something sweeter than brotherly affection

And nobler than blood ties

It is a comingling of love and fear that fills my heart with happiness and worries

But love is a flower than grows and blooms without the aid of season

It secrets in my mind a memory which melts my heart

And awakens by its sweetness all the virtue of my heart and body

Within this memory, an hour passes, every minute of which seems like a year

These are moments I think of you and terribly miss you

Waves of perplexity beat upon me as I hold this pen

Writing in the solitude of my room, oh how great this night is and how deep its mystery

It’s a mixed feeling of love and worry, as I always say to myself ‘I hope she is fine’

I tremble with affection and feel my heart blooming with love

I tremble like the light of a lamp before the wind; I feel I have seen love face on face,

My heart feels for you not on account of beauty

But because the eye cannot resist a spear without being pierced

This is a love free from jealousy, rich and never harmful to the heart

Yours is a heart which beauty has erected and love have blessed

Cups don’t entice lips unless the wine is seen through the transparency of the crystal

That first smile, took care of everything that could have gone wrong

You have become dearer than a friend, 

Closer than a sister and more beloved than a sweetheart

You have become a supreme thought, a beautiful dream

And an overpowering emotion living in my heart

I gaze upon your beauty with keen interest

And marvel upon your strength and intelligence

I feel the kindness of your heart and innocence of your countenance

I loosen myself and fall, hoping to land in your heart

I am attracted and invisibly drawn close and closer

Every visit gave me a new meaning of your beauty

And a new insight into your sweet spirit

I can say you are a book whose pages I understand and whose praises I can sing

But I can never finish reading this book

I see you each day like a first time

Because you are always a brand anew

A woman whom providence has provided with the beauty of heart and body

I understand you by virtue of love

But I can’t describe you in words

Superlative words may pull you below my thoughts of you

But is not silence more painful than death?

Will pride and limitation stop me from describing you in plain words?

Since I can’t paint your picture with luminous colors among the stars 

I should endeavor to say something at least

I’m not proud, but may be limited in words

Yet speech is not the only means to understanding between two hearts

It is not the syllables that come from the lips and tongue that brings hearts together

There is something greater and purer than what the mouth can utter

But I can’t keep some things to my heart

I ponder my words and weigh the true meaning of each syllable

No matter how ugly my expressions may be

Just know they come from a sincere heart beautiful like yours

Beauty and love is created by a single thought or emotion inside a man

Oh how great this night is and how deep its mystery

I listen to the breathing of sleeping nature while I write these lines

I bring your face forth in my imaginations

And on your lips I see a smile of pleasure

I bring your figure forth, and in that silk, cotton, linen and woollen attire

You are lithe, and like the rays of moonlight coming through the window

Your walks are graceful and rhythmic; I can’t deny watching those steps 

When you smoothly place and pluck each feet from point to point

Your voice is low and sweet

Words fall from your lips like drops of dew 

Falling from the petals of rose when they are disturbed by the wind

And with a pace that cause my heart to flutter and keeps my attention in custody

Your voice moved me to the depths of my heart

They are epitome of your tale of love

My words can’t describe the expressions on your face; you reflect many things

You are a classic personality, a revelation which cannot be measured or bound  

Or replicated by the brush of a painter or the chisel of a sculptor

You are one of a kind; your beauty is not in those shiny eyes, 

Not in those tasty lips

Not in your perfect figure

Nor in your succulent bosom

Your beauty is like the gift of poetry; it is inbuilt

It is in the light which emanates from those eyes

It is in the sweetness of the words of those lips mouth

It is in the nobility and tenderness of your heart

It is in the virtue and elegance that surround your being

You are thoughtful and when you are silent, I try to read your eyes

And when you shut the eyes I will listen to the throbbing of your heart

Love is linking my heart to yours

I see in your heart the most concealed emotions and hear the echoes of a hidden voice

The thirst for love is a difficult urge to satisfy

The more I love, the deeper and deeper I go

I long for your love like bread which the goddess prepares with the sweetness of kisses

‘The gods do not forget’, if they misplace me, they will apologize

For the past few days loneliness overcame me

I tried to cheer up, but was grim

Then I remembered that fate brought back a dear old friend

In the person of a stranger, who in no minute became so dear to my heart

Who is she, that cometh forth like the morning rising?

Fair as the moon, bright as the sun and terrible as an army set in battle array

These words resound when I sing the glories of The Most Blessed Virgin Mary

But of you I have thought, and have these to say

Your love opens my eyes with its magical rays

And touches my heart with its fiery fingers

You have awakened my slumbering heart with your beauty

And led me into the garden of high affection

This affection reveals to me the secrets of love

Times with you is the memory that changes my deepest feeling

And make me happy in spite of all bitterness and mystery

I say these words to you, because love has its own language

A language loftier than the voice of tongues and lips

It is a timeless language common to all humanity

A calm lake that attracts the singing rivulet to its depths and make them silent

Only the heart understand the language of beauty and love

It puzzle my mind; I’m not able to describe it in words

It is a sensation not visible to my eyes but I sense it

This love emanates from the inmost depth of my heart and it illuminates my senses

Just like life come from the depth of the earth and gives colour and scent to a flower

Did our hearts reach out to each other the day we met?

Did my yearning reveal your beauty to me?

I imagine the brightness of your eyes and the sweetness of your lips

I can’t keep quiet about the elegance of your figure

I’m obviously not intoxicated with the wine of youth

The person of you show me the happiness of loving and being loved

It’s strange but with you I feel emotions I have never felt before 

And for each time I say ‘I’m going’, my heart gives a sigh of disappointment

I’m always a departing guest, but this affection rests tranquil in my heart

Like the spirit hovering over the face of the waters at the creation of the world

From this affection is born something great within my sense and urge for exclusive love

You are obviously worth it, even more than just that

Your love elevates my heart 

It is a perfect love, a love of consummated excellence and supreme wonders

The law of humanity and phenomena of nature cannot alter its course

Please place my heart side by side with yours before the throne of love

Sucked by your god-hallowed lips, I recall the innocence of my childhood

And I feel the sweet ecstasy of youth

I knew the stern passion of manhood

And envisage the wisdom of old age

In your eyes I see the splendor of kings

And the triumph of warriors

The fame of poets and the honour of saints

In my need for your nearness, I feign remoteness

And in fear of the ebb-tide of your love

I guard the floodgates of my heart

I open up my heart to you because I know

Love humiliated in its nakedness is greater than love that seeks triumph in disguise

I lay my hands upon your heart

No other heart but yours, no other lips but yours 

You are the voice that lingers in my ears

And the hand that touches my hand

Long do I love you, and over much

This love that opens my eyes and enslaves my heart has given me the blessing of patience

Oh mad wandering spirit hear me out

For I, the most imperfect has been granted a perfect love

I am your host tonight, and you are my welcomed guest

Here is my hand, grasp it with your beautiful hand

Here is my body, embrace it with your loving arms

Here also are my lips, bestow upon them a deep and dizzying kiss

………………………………………………………………………………

Sleep creeps upon me and is covering my wakefulness

Sleep beckons and my thoughts are disappearing

My pen is conquered, and here I lay my head down to rest

Just know that somebody from this end always wish the best for you

Be safe and be fine. Have a very wonderful and blessed night

©ZIMLIGHT 5/5/18, 9:40 pm

The fall of Adam and Eve: the course on eve and the plight of the third world women.

 

INTRODUCTION

The first man, Adam, was set into a state of happiness and was promised its continuity, to him and to his posterity, under the condition of his fidelity in perfect obedience to the statues and ordinances given to him by his creator. Thus he should not eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. However, in disregard to the commands of the Lord, Adam faltered and fell. In the garden, Adam and Eve lived in a state of perfection. They experienced total harmony with the Creator, with His creation, and with each other. This balance was destroyed when Adam and Even submitted to the will of the tempter rather than to the will of God. At that point in time, both the woman and man were cursed, inalterably changing the course of history and the outworking of the original created order.[1]

The initial creation was paradisiacal; death and mortality was not part of it. There was no mortal flesh upon the earth for any form of life; all things had been created in a state of paradisiacal immortality. The fall of Adam and Eve which is summed up as the concept of ‘the fall’ is used to describe the transitional deployment from the state of tranquility in the Garden of Eden to a state of hardship outside the garden. This is basically from the biblical interpretation of the book of Genesis. The fall is an apocryphal expression of the revolt of our first parents from God, and the consequent sin and misery in which they and all their posterity were involved.

THE FALL: WHAT HAPPENED?

From the beginning God placed Adam and eve in the primeval Garden of Eden to tend but, on the penalty of death, God commanded them not to eat the “tree of knowledge of good and evil.” Adam and Eve were persons of innocence, until they yielded to the temptations of the serpent. Consequently they were driven out of the garden, and they lost their paradisiacal immortality, and that was the beginning of a life of suffering for them. God proclaimed punishments on them for their disobedience: for the woman, her punishment was pain in childbirth and subordination to the man, and for the man, relegation to an accursed ground with which he must toil and sweat for his subsistence.[2] The fall brought shame, degradation and pollution to man (loss of innocence), and displeasure to God.

The blissful harmony of the Garden of Eden came to an abrupt end. Man and woman brought this tragedy upon themselves. The story of this tragedy has three moments: temptation, fall and judgment. The serpent tempted Eve, and Eve succumbed and involved his companion Adam, causing the both to sin against God. Their disobedience disrupted the friendly relationship between them and God and destroyed the simple harmony between themselves, thus they blamed each other. This act of disobedience bothers majorly on man’s desire to acquire knowledge, but eating the forbidden fruit only reveled to man, in a humiliating way, his utter creatureliness and thus they became shamefully conscious of their nakedness. They were cursed and sent out of the Garden of Eden, and doomed to die. These consequences extend beyond Adam and Eve to their descendants—the entire human race.

 

THE TEMPTING SERPENT

Being created in the image of God, Adam and Eve were moral beings with freewill. They had the capacity to decide for themselves. Some scholars are of the opinion that the serpent tempted the woman because she was weaker and inferior to the man. They were of the opinion that if the man was first tempted, mankind would not have fallen. However, some other scholars are of the opinion the serpent tempted the woman first because she was the final perfecting element in creation. Being the perfection of creation, with the fall of the woman, the man was already destined to fall.[3] However this second group of scholars holds that if man fell first, the woman being the perfection might not have disobeyed too. Another common explanation is that the tempter addressed the woman because she had not personally received the prohibition from God as Adam had.[4] A fourth possibility is that the serpent approached her because of a difference in woman’s personality which made her more vulnerable to attack. Some of these explanations appear plausible, but we may never conclusively grasp the serpent’s plan.[5]

THE FALL: THE CURSE ON EVE

God’s original idea for man was to stay in blessings not in a curse.  However, when man became disobedient to the commandments originally given to him by God, it brought a curse to all humanity and distorted the image of God in man.  The fall made humans sinful, and brought death into the world. Man and woman lost their confidence in the sight of God and sort to hide away from his face. The woman was tricked into disobedience in which he involved the man. The consequences of their disobedience were instant. The created order was violated and relationships were impaired. God cursed the man and his wife as the result of their disobedience. Eve first transgressed the limits of the Eden and initiated the conditions for mortality. The very act of disobedience that started with Eve cost man his initial happiness. As a consequence of the very act of disobedience God cursed Eve thus: “I will increase your suffering in child-bearing, and you will give birth to your children in pain, yet your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you”.[6] The primordial disobedience earn woman an inferior social position to man. The curse of the woman is categorized in three aspects: pain, desire and rule-ship of man over her life. The three are interrelated.

The curse is in two parts, each composed of two parallel clauses. The first part deals with childbearing and the second with marital relations. With two quick strokes God illustrates the bane of women throughout the ages. The curse on eve bothers basically on motherhood and wifehood. God pronounced on her pain of child bearing, and subordination to man. Before the transgression there is harmony and peace, Adam and Eve lived a blissful life. It can also be argued that prior to their disobedience; there is a kind equality between man and the woman, or the man is not over the woman. However God subjugating of woman under man is her chastisement. The fall brought rule-ship of man over the woman. The immediate two sentences pronounced punishment that concerns child birth. Women suffering down the centuries have multiplied through the different generations; there are cases where expectation period prolong beyond nine months. Irrespective of the sufferings and pangs of child birth, the woman is still subjected under the man.

The second part of the judgment God pronounced on the woman is just as significant as the first; yet it is always taken lightly, just a few are aware of its implications. “Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.” Following the sentence structure of the original Hebrew text, it explains the role difficulty women experience to this day. The pattern established prior to the fall was a hierarchy of roles characterized by unity and oneness. However the judgment would work against, rather than contribute to, this original created order and unity. The second part of the judgment necessarily subjected woman under the man; thereby setting a patriarchal standard for the basis of their relationship.

THE PLIGHTS OF THE THIRD WORLD WOMEN

The entrance of sin into the world changed man and woman’s relationship to God and to creation. No longer do women and men walk in harmony with God. The unity and equality present in the first relationship has disintegrated. Role confusion, rebellion, and disharmony reign. Eve’s curse has resulted in the virtual subjugation of women ever since. Women had few rights.  In the past, fathers sold their daughters into slavery or wed them to the highest bidder. In some places wives existed to give the husband pleasure and sons and to keep the house. Many societies insisted that women be veiled in public, and some considered it a criminal act for a woman to walk out of her house without a chaperone. In short, a woman was chattel.

However, in the third world, the genesis pronouncement on the woman sowed the first seed of male chauvinism. Since the time of eve, women experience pain in childbirth. According to a research done by a pain specialist, the pang of birth is far greater than the pain of amputating a finger without Anastasia injection. The pain of childbirth is too severe that some women can’t bear it, many had given up trying to put to birth, and many more have resorted to cesarean section. Some of the cases of the increase in mortality rate during child birth may be as a result of inadequacy of standard facilities, but it also is as a result of the curse of the woman.

With regards to male dominance, especially in the third world, women have sort to usurp male authority and dominance only for them to be crushed, suppressed and oppressed. The male counterparts have been so oppressive, domineering, unfair and uncaring. Women in the third world have wrongly and rudely pronounced inferior. The modern feminist movement has risen in the past few decades to combat male chauvinism and domination. However, the principle of men ruling over and women fighting back to overcome this rule cannot be broken by our own efforts. This is not something that has evolved historically and culturally. It is a principle deeply engraved into our sin nature. It is a direct result of the Fall and the judgment of God.[7]

Women go through different types of suffering and struggles all over in the third world. Its hard and a difficulty to be a woman in the third world; the women subordination in the third world is alarming. In the third world, women are taken to be slaves especially in the societies that uphold firmly the patriarchal system. These men have little or no interest about the sufferings of women. These women are subjected to men, used for sexual fulfillment, domestic duties etc. the women of the third world have be severely subjugated and humiliated. Of the 1.6 billion people who live in extreme poverty, the majority are women.[8] Every day, thousands of women and girls are victims of violence, including sexual abuse, trafficking and early and forced marriage. The health of women also remains a global challenge. In 2010, 287,000 women died during or shortly after childbirth. Developing countries in sub-Saharan Africa and South Asia had the largest share of these deaths.[9] In many developing countries, there are far fewer girls than boys to be found in secondary schools and it is therefore harder for them to find good jobs.[10] The women of the third world are always victims.

OUTSTANDING PLIGHTS OF THE THIRD WORLD WOMEN

The status of women’s rights today varies dramatically in different countries and, in some cases, among groups within the same country, such as ethnic groups or economic classes. Many disparities persist between women’s legal rights and their economic status mostly in the third world countries. Women today constitute nearly 70 percent of the world’s poor, despite international efforts to compensate women and men equally. Women also remain at a distinct disadvantage in education as well. While primary school enrollment for girls now roughly equals that of boys, women constitute about two-thirds of the world’s one billion illiterate adults.

Women in the third world face all forms of discrimination on the basis of their sex. Deep-seated cultural beliefs allowed women only limited roles in the third world societies. Many people are of the belief and opinion that women’s natural roles were as mothers and wives, and they should be relegated and considered on that level. These people considered women to be better suited for childbearing and homemaking rather than for involvement in the public life of business or politics. Widespread belief that women were intellectually inferior to men led most of the third world societies to limit women’s education to the learning domestic skills. Most of the women of the third world societies lacked the educational and economic resources that would enable them to challenge the prevailing social order; they generally accepted their inferior status as their only option. This is because most of the organized effort by these women to achieve greater rights and recognition in the society are not achieving their purpose. Fragile in every sense of the word, they are obliged to look up to man for every comfort.

 

 

HUMILIATION AND SUBJUGATION: Too easy deductions must be avoided and yet the interest of men dominance and women subjugation is worthy of reflection. Women of the third world are humiliated on daily basis in many different ways. Women continuously encounter many challenges in their Third World societies and in the World in general, one of which is to secure social status for themselves in a mostly male-dominated society. Women are devalued and taken to be the weaker sex with little or no importance attached to them. The dogma of women’s complete historical subjugation to men must be rated as one of the most fantastic myths ever created by the human mind. For instance in some societies, when a woman loses the husband, some bans are placed on her, she is not expected to come out in the public for a given period of time, and her hair would be shaved off. While I the same society, when a man loses his wife, nothing happens to him. In some cultures too, it is said that when a king die, he is buried with his first wife, while in same cultures when the wife of the king dies, the king will rather take another wife unto himself. Majorly in the third world too, women are mostly given a passive and not active voice.

PATRIARCHISM: The biggest challenge facing the women of the third world is the patriarchy system. In the third world regardless of a woman’s experience, education and abilities, she is relegated to the background, below the least of the men. The women are taken to be less qualified and competent. Patriarchy convinces people to see a strong and intelligent woman as a problem; a disruption of the social order. Many still believe that women are less worthy of the same opportunities afforded to men. With this social order men behave the way they like and always against women.

MALTREATMENT AND DOMESTIC VIOLENCE: this bothers majorly on sexual oppression. Women are taken as objects who exist to fulfill the pleasure of men. The third world women suffer verbal, emotional, physical and sexual abuses, along with traumatic injuries, sexually transmitted diseases, chronic pain, eating and sleeping disorders etc. it has been estimated that one woman out of three in the third world has been beaten, forced into sex, or otherwise abused in her lifetime. Women are used for sexual fulfillment, for domestic duties, to tend to the children.

GENITAL MUTILATION: this plight of women of the third world is dehumanizing. It is worse in the societies where this dehumanizing act is carried out years after infancy. There is uncertainty regarding reasons for persistence of the practice of female genital mutilation. However, some hold that it is a measure of taming the sensual urge of the woman.

SLAVERY: this is one of the most dehumanizing things suffered by the women of the third world. The women of the third world are seen as less valuable. Women in some societies of the third world are used to pay off debts. Some fathers give out their under aged daughter to marriage and mostly against the daughter’s will to married because they are unable to pay up debts they owe. While in some other societies women are taking and relegated to mere domestic work force without education or empowerment plans for them.

 

CONCLUSION

The creation and Fall of mankind lay the foundation for New Testament role directives. Upon the third world women have be laid all the vices and follies of civilization and culture. Their senses are inflamed, and their understandings neglected, consequently they become the prey of their senses, delicately termed sensibility, and are blown about by every momentary gust of feeling. Most of the third world women are weakened by their culture and erroneous opinions in the favour of men as against women. The third world women’s condition is much below what it would be were they left in a state nearer to nature. The sentences passed on man and woman affected their relationship to God, nature, and each other. These judgments affected Adam and Eve after the Fall and have affected every human being since. In Genesis the battle between the sexes began. Hard labor, sin, corruption, and death are unmistakable realities that face us every day. The judgments passed on Adam and Eve influences every human who has ever walked the face of this earth. This harsh treatment of women, which is pretty much the general pattern of human history, was not the original design of God. Sin brought it in and it therefore corrupted the original relationship between man and woman. In a very specific way, women have a general category of suffering and primarily their suffering is related to two things. It’s related to their children and their husbands; the perennial bearing and caring of children and the perennial dealing with husbands. It is a hard and has been a hard and relentless and often sorrowful duty through most of the history of women and even till today.

 

---

[1] Mary A. Kassian, WOMEN, CREATION, AND THE FALL, CROSSWAY BOOKS  WESTCHESTER, ILLINOIS, 1990, P. 21

[2] "Adam and Eve." Encyclopædia Britannica. Encyclopædia Britannica Ultimate Reference Suite.  Chicago: Encyclopædia Britannica, 2014.

[3] P. 22

[4] V. Geehardus, Biblical Theology(Grand Rapids: Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing Co., 1971), 45

[5] P. 22

[6] Genesis 3: 16

[7] P. 30

[8] World Development Report 2012 – Gender Equality and Development.

[9] http://www.who.int/pmnch/media/news/2012/20120516_unfpa_report/en/index.html

[10] http://siteresources.worldbank.org/INTWDR2012/Resources/7778105-1299699968583/77862101315936222006/Complete-Report.pdf

SUMMARY OF JOHN PAUL II, APOSTOLIC EXHORTATION FamiliarisConsortio (22 November, 1981) PART FOUR

 

 

SUMMARY OF JOHN PAUL II, APOSTOLIC EXHORTATION FamiliarisConsortio (22 November, 1981)

PART FOUR

PASTORAL CARE OF THE FAMILY: STAGES, STRUCTURES, AGENTS AND SITUATIONSnn. 65-86

 

GBORU ANDREW OYINKEPREYE

SSPP/THEO/18/0728

 

 

COURSE: THEOLOGY OF MARRIAGE

COURSE CODE: SS/BTH/307

LECTURER: FR DANIEL KOUMAH

JUNE, 2020

 

I - STAGES OF PASTORAL CARE OF THE FAMILY

The Church Accompanies the Christian Family on Its Journey Through Life

65. The family too is called upon to develop and grow. In this growth process, the church occupies a great role in this. The Church Accompanies the family in this growth process. In the light of faith and by virtue of hope, the Christian family too shares, in communion with the Church, in the experience of the earthly pilgrimage towards the full revelation and manifestation of the Kingdom of God. The need for the church to do this is to ascertain in the certainty that future evangelization depends largely on the domestic Church."The church helps the family to harmonize the Heart of Christ and will show itself to be even more lively for families in general and for those families in particular which are in difficult or irregular situations. For all of them the Church will have a word of truth, goodness, understanding, hope and deep sympathy with their sometimes-tragic difficulties. To all of them she will offer her disinterested help so that they can come closer to that model of a family which the Creator intended from "the beginning" and which Christ has renewed with His redeeming grace.

Preparation for Marriage

66. For the sacrament of matrimony, in some countries it is still the families themselves that, according to ancient customs, ensure the passing on to young people of the values concerning married and family life, and they do this through a gradual process of education or initiation. However, changes that have taken place within almost all modern societies demand that not only the family but also society and the Church should be involved in the effort of properly preparing young people for their future responsibilities. This is even more applicable to Christian marriage, which influences the holiness of large numbers of men and women. The Church must therefore promote better and more intensive programs of marriage preparation, in order to eliminate as far as possible, the difficulties that many married couples find themselves in, and even more in order to favor positively the establishing and maturing of successful marriages.

Marriage preparation has to be seen and put into practice as a gradual and continuous process. It includes three main stages: remote, proximate and immediate preparation.

The Christian family and the whole of the ecclesial community should feel involved in the different phases of the preparation for marriage, which have been described only in their broad outlines. It is to be hoped that the Episcopal Conferences, just as they are concerned with appropriate initiatives to help engaged couples to be more aware of the seriousness of their choice and also to help pastors of souls to make sure of the couples' proper dispositions, so they will also take steps to see that there is issued a Directory for the Pastoral Care of the Family

The Celebration

67. A liturgical celebration is essential for marriage such sacramental action of sanctification, the celebration of marriage-inserted into the liturgy, which is the summit of the Church's action and the source of her sanctifying power must be per se valid, worthy and fruitful. This opens a wide field for pastoral solicitude, in order that the needs deriving from the nature of the conjugal convent, elevated into a sacrament, may be fully met, and also in order that the Church's discipline regarding free consent, impediments, the canonical form and the actual rite of the celebration may be faithfully observed. The celebration should be simple and dignified, according to the norms of the competent authorities of the Church.

Celebration of Marriage and Evangelization of Non-believing Baptized Persons

68. A careful attention must be devoted to the moral and spiritual dispositions of those being married, in particular to their faith, we must here deal with a not infrequent difficulty in which the pastors of the Church can find themselves in the context of our secularized society. The faith of the person asking the Church for marriage can exist in different degrees, and it is the primary duty of pastors to bring about a rediscovery of this faith and to nourish it and bring it to maturity. But pastors must also understand the reasons that lead the Church also to admit to the celebration of marriage those who are imperfectly disposed.

Pastoral Care After Marriage

69. The pastoral care for young families, which, finding themselves in a context of new values and responsibilities, are more vulnerable, especially in the first years of marriage, to possible difficulties, such as those created by adaptation to life together or by the birth of children. Young married couples should learn to accept willingly, and make good use of, the discreet, tactful and generous help offered by other couples that already have more experience of married and family life. Thus, within the ecclesial community-the great family made up of Christian families-there will take place a mutual exchange of presence and help among all the families, each one putting at the service of others its own experience of life, as well as the gifts of faith and grace. Animated by a true apostolic spirit, this assistance from family to family will constitute one of the simplest, most effective and most accessible means for transmitting from one to another those Christian values which are both the starting point and goal of all pastoral care.

II - STRUCTURES OF FAMILY PASTORAL CARE

The Ecclesial Community and in Particular the Parish

70. Communion with the universal Church does not hinder but rather guarantees and promotes the substance and originality of the various particular Churches. These latter remain the more immediate and more effective subjects of operation for putting the pastoral care of the family into practice. In this sense every local Church and, in more particular terms, every parochial community, must become more vividly aware of the grace and responsibility that it receives from the Lord in order that it may promote the pastoral care of the family. No plan for organized pastoral work, at any level, must ever fail to take into consideration the pastoral care of the family. Formation courses are periodically held at Higher Institutes of theological and pastoral studies. Such initiatives should be encouraged, sustained, increased in number, and of course are also open to lay people who intend to use their professional skills (medical, legal, psychological, social or educational) to help the family.

The Family

71. In this activity, married couples act in communion and collaboration with the other members of the Church, who also work for the family, contributing their own gifts and ministries. This apostolate will be exercised in the first place within the families of those concerned, through the witness of a life lived in conformity with the divine law in all its aspects, through the Christian formation of the children, through helping them to mature in faith, through education to chastity, through preparation for life, through vigilance in protecting them from the ideological and moral dangers with which they are often threatened, through their gradual and responsible inclusion in the ecclesial community and the civil community, through help and advice in choosing a vocation, through mutual help among family members for human and Christian growth together, and so on.

Associations of Families for Families

72. Various groupings of members of the faithful in which the mystery of Christ's Church is in some measure manifested and lived. One should therefore recognize and make good use of-each one in relationship to its own characteristics, purposes effectiveness and methods-the different ecclesial communities, the various groups and the numerous movements engaged in various ways, for different reasons and at different levels, in the pastoral care of the family, the Synod expressly recognized the useful contribution made by such associations of spirituality, formation and apostolate. It will be their task to foster among the faithful a lively sense of solidarity, to favor a manner of living inspired by the Gospel and by the faith of the Church, to form consciences according to Christian values and not according to the standards of public opinion; to stimulate people to perform works of charity for one another and for others with a spirit of openness which will make Christian families into a true source of light and a wholesome leaven for other families.

III - AGENTS OF THE PASTORAL CARE OF THE FAMILY

Bishops and Priests

It is important to note that the responsibility extends beyond liturgical matters.

73. The person principally responsible in the diocese for the pastoral care of the family is the Bishop. As father and pastor, he must exercise particular solicitude in this clearly priority sector of pastoral care. He must devote to it personal interest, care, time, personnel and resources, but above all personal support for the families and for all those who, in the various diocesan structures, assist him in the pastoral care of the family. The Bishops avail themselves especially of the priests, whose task-as the Synod expressly emphasized-constitutes an essential part of the Church's ministry regarding marriage and the family. The same is true of deacons to whose care this sector of pastoral work may be entrusted.

Men and Women Religious

74. Men and women religious, and members of Secular Institutes and other institutes of perfection, either individually or in groups, to develop their service to families, with particular solicitude for children, especially if they are abandoned, unwanted, orphaned, poor or handicapped. They can also visit families and look after the sick; they can foster relationships of respect and charity towards one-parent families or families that are in difficulties or are separated; they can offer their own work of teaching and counseling in the preparation of young people for marriage, and in helping couples towards truly responsible parenthood; they can open their own houses for simple and cordial hospitality, so that families can find there the sense of God's presence and gain a taste for prayer and recollection, and see the practical examples of lives lived in charity and fraternal joy as members of the larger family of God.

Lay Specialists

75. Considerable help can be given to families by lay specialists (doctors, lawyers, psychologists, social workers, consultants, etc.) who either as individuals or as members of various associations and undertakings offer their contribution of enlightenment, advice, orientation and support.

Recipients and Agents of Social Communications

76. This very important category in modern life deserves a word of its own. It is well known that the means of social communication "affect, and often profoundly, the minds of those who use them, under the affective and intellectual aspect and also under the moral and religious aspect," especially in the case of young people.social communication, like the school and the environment, often have a notable influence on the formation of children, parents as recipients must actively ensure the moderate, critical, watchful and prudent use of the media, by discovering what effect they have on their children and by controlling the use of the media in such a way as to "train the conscience of their children to express calm and objective judgments, which will then guide them in the choice or rejection of programs available .

IV - PASTORAL CARE OF THE FAMILY IN DIFFICULT CASES

Particular Circumstances

77.A difficult problem is that of the family which is ideologically divided. In these cases particular pastoral care is needed. In the first place it is necessary to maintain tactful personal contact with such families. The believing members must be strengthened in their faith and supported in their Christian lives. Although the party faithful to Catholicism cannot give way, dialogue with the other party must always be kept alive. Love and respect must be freely shown, in the firm hope that unity will be maintained. Much also depends on the relationship between parents and children. Moreover, ideologies which are alien to the faith can stimulate the believing members of the family to grow in faith and in the witness of love.

Mixed Marriages

78. The growing number of mixed marriages between Catholics and other baptized persons also calls for special pastoral attention in the light of the directives and norms contained in the most recent documents of the Holy See and in those drawn up by the Episcopal Conferences, in order to permit their practical application to the various situations.

In the first place, attention must be paid to the obligations that faith imposes on the Catholic party with regard to the free exercise of the faith and the consequent obligation to ensure, as far as is possible, the Baptism and upbringing of the children in the Catholic faith.With regard to the liturgical and canonical form of marriage, Ordinaries can make wide use of their faculties to meet various necessities.

Situations

79. In its solicitude to protect the family in all its dimensions, not only the religious one, the Synod of Bishops did not fail to take into careful consideration certain situations which are irregular in a religious sense and often in the civil sense too. Such situations, as a result of today's rapid cultural changes, are unfortunately becoming widespread also among Catholics with no little damage to the very institution of the family and to society, of which the family constitutes the basic cell.

a) Trial Marriages

80. A first example of an irregular situation is provided by what are called "trial marriages," which many people today would like to justify by attributing a certain value to them. But human reason leads one to see that they are unacceptable, by showing the unconvincing nature of carrying out an "experiment" with human beings, whose dignity demands that they should be always and solely the term of a self-giving love without limitations of time or of any other circumstance.

81.Some people consider themselves almost forced into a free union by difficult economic, cultural or religious situations, on the grounds that, if they contracted a regular marriage, they would be exposed to some form of harm, would lose economic advantages, would be discriminated against, etc. In other cases, however, one encounters people who scorn, rebel against or reject society, the institution of the family and the social and political order, or who are solely seeking pleasure.

c) Catholics in Civil Marriages

82. There are increasing cases of Catholics who for ideological or practical reasons, prefer to contract a merely civil marriage, and who reject or at least defer religious marriage. Their situation cannot of course be likened to that of people simply living together without any bond at all, because in the present case there is at least a certain commitment to a properly-defined and probably stable state of life, even though the possibility of a future divorce is often present in the minds of those entering a civil marriage. By seeking public recognition of their bond on the part of the State, such couples show that they are ready to accept not only its advantages but also its obligations. Nevertheless, not even this situation is acceptable to the Church.

d) Separated or Divorced Persons Who Have Not Remarried

83. The case of Loneliness and other difficulties are often the lot of separated spouses, especially when they are the innocent parties. The ecclesial community must support such people more than ever. It must give them much respect, solidarity, understanding and practical help, so that they can preserve their fidelity even in their difficult situation; and it must help them to cultivate the need to forgive which is inherent in Christian love, and to be ready perhaps to return to their former married life.The situation is similar for people who have undergone divorce, but, being well aware that the valid marriage bond is indissoluble, refrain from becoming involved in a new union and devote themselves solely to carrying out their family duties and the responsibilities of Christian life. In such cases their example of fidelity and Christian consistency takes on particular value as a witness before the world and the Church. Here it is even more necessary for the Church to offer continual love and assistance, without there being any obstacle to admission to the sacraments.

e) Divorced Persons Who Have Remarried

84. Reconciliation in the sacrament of Penance which would open the way to the Eucharist, can only be granted to those who, repenting of having broken the sign of the Covenant and of fidelity to Christ, are sincerely ready to undertake a way of life that is no longer in contradiction to the indissolubility of marriage. This means, in practice, that when, for serious reasons, such as for example the children’s upbringing, a man and a woman cannot satisfy the obligation to separate, they “take on themselves the duty to live in complete continence, that is, by abstinence from the acts proper to married couples.”

Those Without a Family

85In the world today, there are countless people who unfortunately cannot in any sense claim membership of what could be called in the proper sense a family. Large sections of humanity live in conditions of extreme poverty, in which promiscuity, lack of housing, the irregular nature and instability of relationships and the extreme lack of education make it impossible in practice to speak of a true family. There are others who, for various reasons, have been left alone in the world. And yet for all of these people there exists a "good news of the family.’ For those who have no natural family the doors of the great family which is the Church-the Church which finds concrete expression in the diocesan and the parish family, in ecclesial basic communities and in movements of the apostolate-must be opened even wider.

THE MMONWU ANCESTRAL CULT

 

INTRODUCTION

Mmonwu is an ancestral cult of the Igbo tribe of Nigeria which gives a profound sense of priority to the dead over the living. This particular system affirms the belief of the Igbo people in Life after death. It posits death not in the light of total annihilation but a bridge to a different kind of life. This system is closely related and necessarily tied to the Igbo belief in ancestral communion. The afterlife in Igbo tradition is the realm of the spiritual beings; however there are two categories of spiritual being in Igbo ontological understanding: those created as such or those that emanated and those who were once human. The ancestral cult belongs to the second category.[1]

THE MMONWU ANCESTRAL CULT

The mmonwu cult is an ontological association in communion with the ancestors. The Igbos man believe the ancestors have the power to make better or worse the life of their relations on earth; they can bring fortune or misfortune depending on how the living relations regard them.[2] lma mmonwu is the initiation of young boys into the masquerade cult. Among the lgbos, the mmonwu is the representative of the ancestors, and in this patrilineal society, it is predominantly a male cult. All initiated men are sworn to secrecy during this ritual, and from a very early age, young boys learn the secrets and mysteries that transform them into mature and fully integrated Igbo men. Thus “ima mmonwu” which is a ritual entrance into the mmonwu ancestral cult is regarded as the beginning of the manhood journey of an individual in the Igbo culture. It is the first ticket to the process of becoming an ancestor, because anyone who is not initiated into the ancestral cult in his life here on earth cannot be an ancestor or associate with the ancestors in the life after. It is therefore a mandatory ritual because it is the gateway to the advancement to the other stages of life. For instance, after this ritual, the fathers give their sons the first yam seedlings to start establishing themselves.

The ima mmonwu ritual involves a series of overnight activities. It starts with the gathering of the young men to be initiated at the village square where the introductory rituals are done by the eldest member of the mmonwu ancestral cult, and then they proceed to the mmonwu ancestral forest. It is forbidden for women to come out at the village square on this night, or to tread the mmonwu ancestral forest. This is because the mmonwu ancestral cult is highly gender sensitive. The second part of the ritual can be conducted by any member of the cult, while other members, as much as possible, are to be present while the ritual takes place. Basically on the second part of the ritual, the skills and ability to persevere under strain and stress, of the young men being initiated, are put to the test, and most especially their courage to conquer fear is tested. In most cases, the young men are confronted by the most dangerous of the ancestral representatives, usually in a masquerade form. Finally the young men are taken through a concluding ritual rite and are sworn to secrecy.

THE MMONWU ANCESTRAL CULT, ANCESTORS AND LIFE AFTER DEATH

The ranking in the Mmonwu ancestral cult is based on who got initiated first and not based on age. A Seventeen years old young man who is initiated first will rank higher that a twenty years old man. The mmonwu does not beat a person who is initiated to the mmonwu cult because by virtue of his initiation, he has identified with the ancestors, if in any case the mmonwu beats a person initiated to the cult; it is regarded as a greeting. This is similar to the ranking of the ancestors; they are ranked not by who died first, but who was given a proper burial first. Thus, when libations are poured to the ancestors, they are called to partake according to who was properly buried first, and in that sequence. However, Eke, Orie, Afor, and Nkwo are regarded as the greatest ancestors of the Igbo, and that’s why when the ancestors of the Igbos are to be mentioned, Eke, Orie, Afor and Nkwo are first called. This system accounts for why some elders instruct their children to bury them immediately after their death and not to put them in mortuary.

Death, although a dreaded event, is perceived as the beginning of a person’s deeper relationship with all of creation, the complementing of life and the beginning of the communication between the visible and the invisible worlds. The goal of life is thus to become an ancestor after death. This is why it is necessary for every dead individual to be given a proper and traditional burial, so that the spirit may rest in peace and have a right in the land of the living dead in the afterlife, else the person’s may be a wandering spirit, and thus won’t have the benefits of being an ancestor. Proper burial is also for the purpose of securing a safe passage for the dead to the afterlife.

The ancestral cult and belief in life after death are instrumental components of the Igbo culture, this influences the community in a high degree. The relationship between the ancestral cult and life after death, throws light on the phenomenon of death and its role in life. These systems of belief are all rooted in the existence of ancestors. This basically promotes a traditional belief that death does not presuppose a complete annihilation, thus, death is not an end in itself. These sets of beliefs are materialized and practiced in the mmonwu ancestral cult. Thus mmonwu is said to be a representation of the ancestors, playing an intermediary role between the living and the dead.

CONCLUSION

The ancestral cult has the ontological monopoly over the traditional knowledge with regards to the meaning of life and death. They watch over the community, and pass judgment to the evil ones. The mmonwu comes out at special times like festive period, thereby making the ancestors partake in the celebrations of the living. With the ancestral cults, the Igbos believe that man does not die but rather transcends to a higher realm of life. The mmonwu is a symbol and an embodiment of customs and traditions that is vital to the norms and conventions of religious or social life of a community, guiding the society in a cyclical belief through the ancestral spirits.[3]

 

 

 

BIBLIOGRAPHY

 

Mbiti J.S. African religion and philosophy, double day company, Inc,  New York 1969.

 

Global Journal of Arts, Humanities and Social Sciences  Vol.7, No. 8, pp.17-23, September 2019

Chinelo Eze, west African ancestral cults shows the belief in life after death, 18/10/2020 https://t.guardian.ng/life/west-african-ancestral-cults-shows-the-belief-in-life-after-death/

 

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[1] Mbiti J.S. African religion and philosophy, double day company, Inc,  New York 1969, 97.

[2] Global Journal of Arts, Humanities and Social Sciences  Vol.7, No. 8, pp.17-23, September 2019

[3]  Chinelo Eze, west African ancestral cults shows the belief in life after death, 18/10/2020 https://t.guardian.ng/life/west-african-ancestral-cults-shows-the-belief-in-life-after-death/