SUMMARY OF JOHN PAUL II, APOSTOLIC EXHORTATION FamiliarisConsortio (22 November, 1981)
PART FOUR
PASTORAL CARE OF THE FAMILY: STAGES, STRUCTURES, AGENTS AND
SITUATIONSnn. 65-86
GBORU ANDREW OYINKEPREYE
SSPP/THEO/18/0728
COURSE: THEOLOGY OF MARRIAGE
COURSE CODE: SS/BTH/307
LECTURER: FR DANIEL KOUMAH
JUNE, 2020
I - STAGES OF PASTORAL CARE OF THE FAMILY
The Church Accompanies the Christian Family on Its Journey
Through Life
65. The family too is called upon to develop and grow. In
this growth process, the church occupies a great role in this. The Church
Accompanies the family in this growth process. In the light of faith and by
virtue of hope, the Christian family too shares, in communion with the Church,
in the experience of the earthly pilgrimage towards the full revelation and
manifestation of the Kingdom of God. The need for the church to do this is to ascertain
in the certainty that future evangelization depends largely on the domestic
Church."The church helps the family to harmonize the Heart of Christ and
will show itself to be even more lively for families in general and for those
families in particular which are in difficult or irregular situations. For all
of them the Church will have a word of truth, goodness, understanding, hope and
deep sympathy with their sometimes-tragic difficulties. To all of them she will
offer her disinterested help so that they can come closer to that model of a
family which the Creator intended from "the beginning" and which
Christ has renewed with His redeeming grace.
Preparation for Marriage
66. For the sacrament of matrimony, in some countries it is
still the families themselves that, according to ancient customs, ensure the
passing on to young people of the values concerning married and family life,
and they do this through a gradual process of education or initiation. However,
changes that have taken place within almost all modern societies demand that
not only the family but also society and the Church should be involved in the
effort of properly preparing young people for their future responsibilities.
This is even more applicable to Christian marriage, which influences the
holiness of large numbers of men and women. The Church must therefore promote
better and more intensive programs of marriage preparation, in order to
eliminate as far as possible, the difficulties that many married couples find
themselves in, and even more in order to favor positively the establishing and
maturing of successful marriages.
Marriage preparation has to be seen and put into practice
as a gradual and continuous process. It includes three main stages: remote,
proximate and immediate preparation.
The Christian family and the whole of the ecclesial
community should feel involved in the different phases of the preparation for
marriage, which have been described only in their broad outlines. It is to be
hoped that the Episcopal Conferences, just as they are concerned with
appropriate initiatives to help engaged couples to be more aware of the
seriousness of their choice and also to help pastors of souls to make sure of
the couples' proper dispositions, so they will also take steps to see that
there is issued a Directory for the Pastoral Care of the Family
The Celebration
67. A liturgical celebration is essential for marriage such
sacramental action of sanctification, the celebration of marriage-inserted into
the liturgy, which is the summit of the Church's action and the source of her
sanctifying power must be per se valid, worthy and fruitful. This opens a
wide field for pastoral solicitude, in order that the needs deriving from the
nature of the conjugal convent, elevated into a sacrament, may be fully met,
and also in order that the Church's discipline regarding free consent,
impediments, the canonical form and the actual rite of the celebration may be
faithfully observed. The celebration should be simple and dignified, according
to the norms of the competent authorities of the Church.
Celebration of Marriage and Evangelization of Non-believing
Baptized Persons
68. A careful attention must be devoted to the moral and
spiritual dispositions of those being married, in particular to their faith, we
must here deal with a not infrequent difficulty in which the pastors of the
Church can find themselves in the context of our secularized society. The faith
of the person asking the Church for marriage can exist in different degrees,
and it is the primary duty of pastors to bring about a rediscovery of this
faith and to nourish it and bring it to maturity. But pastors must also understand
the reasons that lead the Church also to admit to the celebration of marriage
those who are imperfectly disposed.
Pastoral Care After Marriage
69. The pastoral care for young families, which, finding
themselves in a context of new values and responsibilities, are more
vulnerable, especially in the first years of marriage, to possible
difficulties, such as those created by adaptation to life together or by the
birth of children. Young married couples should learn to accept willingly, and
make good use of, the discreet, tactful and generous help offered by other
couples that already have more experience of married and family life. Thus,
within the ecclesial community-the great family made up of Christian
families-there will take place a mutual exchange of presence and help among all
the families, each one putting at the service of others its own experience of
life, as well as the gifts of faith and grace. Animated by a true apostolic
spirit, this assistance from family to family will constitute one of the
simplest, most effective and most accessible means for transmitting from one to
another those Christian values which are both the starting point and goal of
all pastoral care.
II - STRUCTURES OF FAMILY PASTORAL CARE
The Ecclesial Community and in Particular the Parish
70. Communion with the universal Church does not hinder but
rather guarantees and promotes the substance and originality of the various
particular Churches. These latter remain the more immediate and more effective
subjects of operation for putting the pastoral care of the family into
practice. In this sense every local Church and, in more particular terms, every
parochial community, must become more vividly aware of the grace and
responsibility that it receives from the Lord in order that it may promote the
pastoral care of the family. No plan for organized pastoral work, at any level,
must ever fail to take into consideration the pastoral care of the family. Formation
courses are periodically held at Higher Institutes of theological and pastoral
studies. Such initiatives should be encouraged, sustained, increased in number,
and of course are also open to lay people who intend to use their professional
skills (medical, legal, psychological, social or educational) to help the
family.
The Family
71. In this activity, married couples act in communion and
collaboration with the other members of the Church, who also work for the
family, contributing their own gifts and ministries. This apostolate will be
exercised in the first place within the families of those concerned, through
the witness of a life lived in conformity with the divine law in all its
aspects, through the Christian formation of the children, through helping them
to mature in faith, through education to chastity, through preparation for
life, through vigilance in protecting them from the ideological and moral
dangers with which they are often threatened, through their gradual and
responsible inclusion in the ecclesial community and the civil community,
through help and advice in choosing a vocation, through mutual help among
family members for human and Christian growth together, and so on.
Associations of Families for Families
72. Various groupings of members of the faithful in which
the mystery of Christ's Church is in some measure manifested and lived. One
should therefore recognize and make good use of-each one in relationship to its
own characteristics, purposes effectiveness and methods-the different ecclesial
communities, the various groups and the numerous movements engaged in various
ways, for different reasons and at different levels, in the pastoral care of
the family, the Synod expressly recognized the useful contribution made by such
associations of spirituality, formation and apostolate. It will be their task
to foster among the faithful a lively sense of solidarity, to favor a manner of
living inspired by the Gospel and by the faith of the Church, to form
consciences according to Christian values and not according to the standards of
public opinion; to stimulate people to perform works of charity for one another
and for others with a spirit of openness which will make Christian families
into a true source of light and a wholesome leaven for other families.
III - AGENTS OF THE PASTORAL CARE OF THE FAMILY
Bishops and Priests
It is
important to note that the responsibility extends beyond liturgical matters.
73. The person principally responsible in the diocese for
the pastoral care of the family is the Bishop. As father and pastor, he must
exercise particular solicitude in this clearly priority sector of pastoral
care. He must devote to it personal interest, care, time, personnel and
resources, but above all personal support for the families and for all those
who, in the various diocesan structures, assist him in the pastoral care of the
family. The Bishops avail themselves especially of the priests, whose task-as
the Synod expressly emphasized-constitutes an essential part of the Church's
ministry regarding marriage and the family. The same is true of deacons to
whose care this sector of pastoral work may be entrusted.
Men and Women Religious
74. Men and women religious, and members of Secular
Institutes and other institutes of perfection, either individually or in
groups, to develop their service to families, with particular solicitude for
children, especially if they are abandoned, unwanted, orphaned, poor or
handicapped. They can also visit families and look after the sick; they can
foster relationships of respect and charity towards one-parent families or
families that are in difficulties or are separated; they can offer their own
work of teaching and counseling in the preparation of young people for
marriage, and in helping couples towards truly responsible parenthood; they can
open their own houses for simple and cordial hospitality, so that families can
find there the sense of God's presence and gain a taste for prayer and
recollection, and see the practical examples of lives lived in charity and
fraternal joy as members of the larger family of God.
Lay Specialists
75. Considerable help can be given to families by lay
specialists (doctors, lawyers, psychologists, social workers, consultants,
etc.) who either as individuals or as members of various associations and
undertakings offer their contribution of enlightenment, advice, orientation and
support.
Recipients and Agents of Social Communications
76. This very important category in modern life deserves a
word of its own. It is well known that the means of social communication
"affect, and often profoundly, the minds of those who use them, under the
affective and intellectual aspect and also under the moral and religious
aspect," especially in the case of young people.social communication, like
the school and the environment, often have a notable influence on the formation
of children, parents as recipients must actively ensure the moderate, critical,
watchful and prudent use of the media, by discovering what effect they have on
their children and by controlling the use of the media in such a way as to
"train the conscience of their children to express calm and objective
judgments, which will then guide them in the choice or rejection of programs
available .
IV
- PASTORAL CARE OF THE FAMILY IN DIFFICULT CASES
Particular
Circumstances
77.A difficult problem is that of the family which is
ideologically divided. In these cases particular pastoral care is needed. In
the first place it is necessary to maintain tactful personal contact with such
families. The believing members must be strengthened in their faith and
supported in their Christian lives. Although the party faithful to Catholicism
cannot give way, dialogue with the other party must always be kept alive. Love
and respect must be freely shown, in the firm hope that unity will be
maintained. Much also depends on the relationship between parents and children.
Moreover, ideologies which are alien to the faith can stimulate the believing
members of the family to grow in faith and in the witness of love.
Mixed Marriages
78. The growing number of mixed marriages between Catholics
and other baptized persons also calls for special pastoral attention in the
light of the directives and norms contained in the most recent documents of the
Holy See and in those drawn up by the Episcopal Conferences, in order to permit
their practical application to the various situations.
In the first place, attention must be paid to the
obligations that faith imposes on the Catholic party with regard to the free
exercise of the faith and the consequent obligation to ensure, as far as is
possible, the Baptism and upbringing of the children in the Catholic faith.With
regard to the liturgical and canonical form of marriage, Ordinaries can make
wide use of their faculties to meet various necessities.
Situations
79. In its solicitude to protect the family in all its
dimensions, not only the religious one, the Synod of Bishops did not fail to
take into careful consideration certain situations which are irregular in a
religious sense and often in the civil sense too. Such situations, as a result
of today's rapid cultural changes, are unfortunately becoming widespread also
among Catholics with no little damage to the very institution of the family and
to society, of which the family constitutes the basic cell.
80. A first example of an irregular situation is provided
by what are called "trial marriages," which many people today would
like to justify by attributing a certain value to them. But human reason leads
one to see that they are unacceptable, by showing the unconvincing nature of carrying
out an "experiment" with human beings, whose dignity demands that
they should be always and solely the term of a self-giving love without
limitations of time or of any other circumstance.
81.Some people consider themselves almost forced into a
free union by difficult economic, cultural or religious situations, on the
grounds that, if they contracted a regular marriage, they would be exposed to
some form of harm, would lose economic advantages, would be discriminated
against, etc. In other cases, however, one encounters people who scorn, rebel
against or reject society, the institution of the family and the social and
political order, or who are solely seeking pleasure.
c) Catholics in Civil Marriages
82. There are increasing cases of Catholics who for
ideological or practical reasons, prefer to contract a merely civil marriage,
and who reject or at least defer religious marriage. Their situation cannot of
course be likened to that of people simply living together without any bond at
all, because in the present case there is at least a certain commitment to a
properly-defined and probably stable state of life, even though the possibility
of a future divorce is often present in the minds of those entering a civil
marriage. By seeking public recognition of their bond on the part of the State,
such couples show that they are ready to accept not only its advantages but
also its obligations. Nevertheless, not even this situation is acceptable to
the Church.
d) Separated or Divorced Persons Who Have Not Remarried
83. The case of Loneliness and other difficulties are often
the lot of separated spouses, especially when they are the innocent parties.
The ecclesial community must support such people more than ever. It must give
them much respect, solidarity, understanding and practical help, so that they
can preserve their fidelity even in their difficult situation; and it must help
them to cultivate the need to forgive which is inherent in Christian love, and
to be ready perhaps to return to their former married life.The situation is
similar for people who have undergone divorce, but, being well aware that the
valid marriage bond is indissoluble, refrain from becoming involved in a new
union and devote themselves solely to carrying out their family duties and the
responsibilities of Christian life. In such cases their example of fidelity and
Christian consistency takes on particular value as a witness before the world
and the Church. Here it is even more necessary for the Church to offer
continual love and assistance, without there being any obstacle to admission to
the sacraments.
e) Divorced Persons Who Have Remarried
84. Reconciliation in the sacrament of Penance which would open the way to the Eucharist, can only be granted to those who, repenting of having broken the sign of the Covenant and of fidelity to Christ, are sincerely ready to undertake a way of life that is no longer in contradiction to the indissolubility of marriage. This means, in practice, that when, for serious reasons, such as for example the children’s upbringing, a man and a woman cannot satisfy the obligation to separate, they “take on themselves the duty to live in complete continence, that is, by abstinence from the acts proper to married couples.”
Those Without a Family
85In the world today, there are countless people who
unfortunately cannot in any sense claim membership of what could be called in
the proper sense a family. Large sections of humanity live in conditions of
extreme poverty, in which promiscuity, lack of housing, the irregular nature
and instability of relationships and the extreme lack of education make it
impossible in practice to speak of a true family. There are others who, for
various reasons, have been left alone in the world. And yet for all of these
people there exists a "good news of the family.’ For those who have no
natural family the doors of the great family which is the Church-the Church
which finds concrete expression in the diocesan and the parish family, in
ecclesial basic communities and in movements of the apostolate-must be opened
even wider.
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