Saturday 24 February 2018

STRUGGLING WITH MUM'S LOVE BY MYSIDE WAS FUN





I was an unpromising seed in the Lord’s garden
And my mum has been a tower of strength to me throughout my life
Her words, well articulated and spoken, changed my perspective about things
If she ever shed tears, she never allowed me to see them

She knows how much I love to just sit back and cry in frustrating and painful situations
It makes me feel better; the torrent of tears washes away my memories of pain
But she wouldn’t allow me see her tears, neither can she stand me cry
She is not all I have, but she is at the top of my list

I was a spirited child
Even imperious at times
And not easily put-upon
When thwarted I often give way to temper tantrums

But my mum loves me without embarrassments
She hoped against hope for a miracle
Believing that I do be good or rather better someday
It would be strangely not usual if she gives up on me

My mum was overly my support
And with her maternal loving support
I was able to join the activities of my peers as far as I was able
But the usual things I couldn’t do broke her heart

But she had to overcome envy and her expectations of me
And not let me lose my self esteem; she won’t afford to risk that
The envy subsided and the expectations moderated
And I lost the will of trying to be who I am not

My untutored mind became an ideal fallow field
For my Lord to sow and later to harvest
And surly I was going to bear a good fruit
I asked for guidance and I am led this far

Then I became less used to anger
My spirit became so willing
But I have to endure the weakness of the flesh
Sometimes, I over did things and became very exhausted

I tried to understand my life
But I found it so difficult
It was heartbreaking
I felt totally and utterly useless

Though I was a normal boy
I was trapped within the cages of my own mind
I had great difficulty coming to terms with it
Yet mum never stopped believing in me

My imaginations were too great
It goes crazy, wild and three dimensional
But I never imagined anything to reality
Then I thought giving up the power of my imagination is an option

I never knew what I needed was in my very head
Just to take one step above my imagination
I could have gotten to my destination earlier
By the time I noted this, I was far gone from my imaginations
 
Getting back to my imaginations took me years
More than it took to get away from it
Just like the Israelites going back to the land of promise
I suffered to get back to what took me less or nothing to give up

Its really amazing what I can imagine
It is okay now, I can let go
And take that one step above
My journey to this point wasn’t easy I broke down on many junctions

The times I broke down
I knew how close my mum was to me
When I fell and lost the will to stand back on my feet
She will always come by and say: “wake up you are still alive”

How many times would I let her change my mind?
This woman I call mother has been my greatest motivation
I never told her how much of a blessing she has been to me
I’m just going to sit back and show her love

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